Empty Feelings
by redbunnehfyre
Summary: He had loved her. She had left him. But what if she comes back? HisagixOC


Howdy people and my nonexisting fans. Well, I'm in my, like, 4th Bleach phase and now I've been obssessin over it for a while. Of course I always have random manga phases...

Anywhoosies. There needs to be a lot more good HisagixOC and HitsugayaxOC fanfics out there. I mean come on! Hisagi can't really have a het pairing and Hitsugaya....just looks bad with Hinamori and Karin... I mean honestly! Hinamori's just.........annoying and Karin doesn't even really meet Hitsugaya in the manga, which is better than the anime. Cuz it's like more.....canon?

Well.......anyways this is my Bleach HisagixOC fanfic (I really need to update my Gakuen Alice fanfic). This chappie's just a bunch of flashback's and Hisagi's feelings. Enjoy!

Before I forget, disclaimer. Technically, the word is self explanatory. The prefix dis- means lack of; not; opposite. Claim means to take as the rightful owner. And -er means a person or thing which does the verb. So....means I don't own Bleach. Okay?

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Empty Feelings

Prologue

.:-:.

"Come on, tai~chou! Don't be so slow! Even though there have been a lot more captain-lieutenant meetings now, they still are rare." The busty lieutenant, Matsumoto Rangiku, looked into the window of the division she and her captain, Hitsugaya Toushirou, were passing. "Shuuhei! Don't forget the meeting!"

The said lieutenant looked up from the pile of paperwork he was attempting to drown himself in. He gave a small smile and nod to the two before they walked away. Hisagi Shuuhei stood up and threw his pen away from his aching hand.

'_Tousen-taichou had never made us do this much paper work.' _With a sad shake of his head, Hisagi looked down on the piles of work he still had not filled out and remembered his kind-hearted captain.

Oh, wait. Ex-captain.

Once again, he had been tricked. He had his feelings toyed with, then ripped apart. Once again, he felt that empty hole that was supposed to be his heart.

When he was still young, the loss of the captain he thought he knew would not have felt so bad. No. The feeling of sorrow was only so painful because Tousen Kaname reminded him of _her._

It was like she left him again.

When Muguruma Kensei, the one he had idolized, had left, Shuuhei had been depressed. When his crush Kuna Mashiro had also disappeared with the former captain, Shuuhei had felt devoid of happiness.

That was, of course, until he met her.

_Flashback_

_There was a young man, looking no more than 14, tilting his head towards the night sky. Tears rolled past his "69" tattoo and stopped when they reached his black choker. Sadness was evident on his face before he realized there was a person walking towards him. The young Shuuhei turned around to face a girl no older than him._

_"Hey, what's the matter?" The young girl smiled sweetly towards the miserable youth before slowly walking next to him, tilting her head in the way Shuuhei's was before. _

_"It's none of your business. Hey…what division are you in?" Shuuhei looked at her standard Shinigami attire, realizing that she seemed too young to be a typical Shinigami. _

_Once again, she smiled at him sweetly before giggling. "Oh, I'm not part of any division. I'm a substitute Shinigami."_

_Shuuhei remembered the lesson he had on substitute Shinigami. They either had to thrust the Zanpakutou of a Shinigami into their heart to obtain powers, or they had to have their Chain of Fate cut. There weren't many strong substitute Shinigami in Soul Society._

_Intrigued, Shuuhei questioned her further before having a civil and relaxing conversation with her. When she again asked what was troubling him, he wasted no time in telling her. He did not know why, but she like a wonderful person to talk to. As he kept talking, Shuuhei felt his sadness and anger melt away, as if they were being absorbed into her. When he finished, he felt his lips curve up to a smile, something he had not done in so many years. _

_End Flashback_

That was his first memory with her, one of the many he cherished. Hisagi shook his head, trying and failing to rid his head of the thoughts of her, before he turned to give a curt nod to Abarai Renji, whom he was passing.

But no matter how hard he tried; no matter how much time it had taken him to attempt to forget, the memories of her broke through the barriers in his mind, the ones that had taken forever to set up, and treasured moments flooded through his consciousness.

Hisagi felt weak, like he always did when he thought of her. Like he always did when he remembered her bubbly personality and the happiness she caused everyone to feel. Like he always did when he thought of her silky ebony black hair and the deep chocolate eyes she had that seemed to give off a tender, caring glow from within.

_Flashback_

_Shuuhei slowly shifted himself in the hospital bed to face his visitor. Though half of his face was bandaged, he could still see that in her eyes, she had a deep concern for him. Even though her pouring tears stated the obvious._

_"Shuu! Shuu! Shuuuuuu!" She bawled and hid her face in her hands, sobbing as she slowly sat down on his bed._

_Shuuhei smiled as he heard her nickname for him. After he met her he did smile a lot more. Again, like he did when he first met her, he felt his troubles just melt away. He reached towards her, trying to comfort her._

_"Shuuhei! How can you be so calm? I mean you're just sitting there acting just fine!" She lifted her fingers and softly stroked where his scars were to form. "Don't forget," she murmured, "There are still people who care about you…"_

_He gazed at her face. Once more, his breath stopped when he was again awestruck by her beauty. Even after being best friends with her for so long, he still was surprised about how her originality radiated off of her. Shuuhei patted her hand before he pulled her into a tight hug._

_"Oh, that reminds me!" Her face suddenly brightened up as she searched through the bag she was carrying. She held an armband in front of her; similar to the choker he was wearing. "I got this for you! You know, it's also explosive, similar to my Zanpakutou." She grinned as he took and wore the armband._

_Though he usually felt calm around her, there was a growing distress that was gnawing inside of him. There was something wrong, he knew that much at least. Something that…was with the way he felt for her. Was she not a best friend and sister to him?_

_Or was she becoming something more? _

_End Flashback_

That feeling inside of him. Hisagi shuddered, causing the passing Hinamori Momo to stare. Those feelings were the cause of his problems. The feelings of loyalty, understanding, friendship, and, dare he say it?

Love.

_Flashback_

_"Shuu! Congrats! You, finally after a long time of failing, managed to graduate Shinou Academy! And you're going to be a lieutenant to boot!" Shuuhei looked at his best friend while they walked into his new room. She plopped herself onto his bed and turned to look back at him. She seemed honestly happy for him, but threw him a teasing look._

_As Shuuhei slowly walked towards her, that gnawing feeling that had been consuming him swept through his entire being, overriding any common sense that he had. He suddenly grasped her shoulders and neared her bewildered face. _

_Though what he felt for her was probably forbidden, the space between them closed and their lips met._

_End Flashback_

Hisagi still remembered how her lips had felt, beneath his, after all these years. The deep yearning he had felt during all of those years he had knew her. The love he had felt for her.

And the love he thought she had felt for him.

He had given and risked everything for her. His own friends were just people that were similar to her. Tousen-taichou represented her strong sense of justice; Unohana-taichou, her calm, but scary, personality; Rangiku-san, her laziness; Hinamori-san, her naivety. When they started to secretly date, he risked his lieutenant position by lying to everyone. He had given her his first meaningful kiss, his entire being, his loyalty, his own fucking virginity. And he thought that she gave everything to him, including her own love.

But, of course, he was wrong.

_Flashback_

_Shuuhei hurried over to Soukyoku Hill. He knew there was something wrong if a Hell Butterfly told him that she wanted to meet him._

_There she stood, in her own majestic way, surrounded by the captains and vice-captains. The smile playing on her lips grew as she saw Shuuhei nearing towards her._

_"What……Why did you call me here?" Shuuhei could not understand why she would unexpectedly call him to meet her, in public especially. He looked at his own captain, bewildered at what was happening._

_"Come on, Shuu. Can't I just call you randomly to see you?" She giggled, acting as if she was unaware of the high-ranking officials around her._

_Her eyes seemed too unfeeling for her as she smirked. "You know, Shuuhei. I don't think this is working out. I mean, when dating, don't both people have to love each other? Sure, you do. But me on the other hand…"_

_Shuuhei could not believe the words that were coming out of her mouth. He was so sure that she had also adored him. However, why else would she call him here to humiliate him in front of the others in Gotei 13? Was she speaking the truth?_

_He felt her peck his immobile body on the cheek. With a fox-like grin similar to Ichimaru-taichou's, she stabbed him in the stomach with her unsheathed sword before flash-stepping away._

_No. This could not be happening. No. _

_But, she was…gone. Forever._

_End Flashback_

Hisagi mentally slapped himself as he walked to his designated spot, waiting for the meeting to begin. How could he be thinking of her during such a desperate time? The time when Gotei 13 was weak after losing three captains and there was a looming threat of the annihilation of Soul Society?

But he knew. He knew why he still thought of her. She was a powerful substitute Shinigami, there was no doubt about that. She would be able to help defend and protect Soul Society. But there still was another reason. It was the only other reason why he woke up at night still thinking about her.

It was because he still loved her.

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Gasp! Oh my! Dun Dun Dunnnn.

Well, I finished my first Bleach fanfic! Woot! That sucky title seriously took a long time to think up of. And I took a long time to decide whether or not to actually name my chapters....

Oh well...I guess that's it. Review? Or Story Alert? So I know that I have people actually reading my fanfics?

Baii ~redbunnehfyre


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